


The Case of the Domestic Vampire

by Masterpiece_of_turkey_cleverness



Category: The Warlock Case Files
Genre: M/M, Not really a case fic, Spoilers for the third book! Do not read if you have not read The Case of the Reincarnated Lover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 17:54:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18504091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterpiece_of_turkey_cleverness/pseuds/Masterpiece_of_turkey_cleverness
Summary: Paul needs some advice from Laura.





	The Case of the Domestic Vampire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WarlockWriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarlockWriter/gifts).



> This is based on Warlock Writer's amazing series 'The Warlock Case Files' and set sometime after the third book, _'The Case of the Reincarnated Lover.'_ It does contain spoilers for book three, so make sure you've caught up before you read this little drabble.

The phone rang. It was…maybe midnight? One AM? I was hyperfocused on my current assignment, so I wasn’t sure. “Save, then pause,” I told my computer, before, “Answer.” The phone, automatically on speaker, opened the line. “Hello,” I said, glancing at the time in the lower-right of the screen. Whoops. 1:45. 

“Hello Laura, this is Paul.” 

Paul, or ‘The Hot Vampire’ as I sometimes called him in my head, was a friend. And an honest-to-goodness vampire. Unfortunately, he was in a relationship with my gay warlock friend Dafydd (yes, my life is…interesting), and therefore taken. “Hi Paul. What’s up?”

“I was wondering if I could come over and speak to you about something.” He always sounded so formal, even though he was using perfectly modern English. 

“Sure, you know you and Dafydd are welcome to come over any time,” I replied. “I’m still up, and probably will be for another few hours.”

“Dafydd is actually at his parents’ this weekend,” Paul told me. “So it would just be me.” Just him? What on Earth could Paul want to talk to me about? Maybe he needed some more surveillance camera footage edited. He and Dafydd regularly fought things that most of the world was better off not knowing about, and I occasionally helped out by editing them and the monster of the week out of some of the videos. 

“Come on over,” I told him. “Jim’s asleep, though, so please try to avoid kicking my door down this time.” I needled him every time I could about that incident, mostly just so I can say that I’ve needled an honest-to-goodness vampire.

I could hear both the resignation and amusement in his tone. “If you insist. I will be over in about twenty minutes, if that is acceptable.”

“Sure!” I chirped. “See you then. ‘Bye, Paul.”

“Goodbye, Laura.” He hung up the phone on his end. 

“Hang up. Unpause,” I said, and went back to my background check. Having ‘signed’ a nondisclosure agreement, I can’t tell you who I was looking into, although you might have an inkling given the fact that I live in Washington, D.C. The check was an important one, too. 

Most of my attention was focused on my work, but part of my brain was still trying to decide what my warlock friend’s vampire lover (God, there was sentence I never thought I’d be thinking) wanted to speak with me about. They’d only recently gotten together, so I hoped it wasn’t about proposing. Dafydd’s last boyfriend had turned out to be some sort of spy for an evil vampire, and I knew he was still torn up about that. Don’t get me wrong—Paul and Dafydd are perfect for one another, and I have no doubt that one day they’ll get married in a big gay celebration and I will be Dafydd’s best man even though I don’t technically have the required anatomy. However, this was too soon for a proposal, even by my lax standards. 

I heard a knock on the door almost exactly twenty minutes later and glanced at the security camera image in the upper right corner of my huge screen. Sure enough, about 6’ of dark-haired vampire hunk was at my door. “Door open,” I said, and I heard the door to the hallway creak open. “I’m in here,” I called quietly, before I moved my chair away from the computer and turned to face the hall he’d be walking down. 

I heard the door shut, then footsteps, and then Paul appeared in the flesh. I envy Dafydd sometimes, I really do. No matter how you define male beauty, Paul fits that definition to a T, and he always dresses well. Tonight he was in a black button-down shirt and jeans, but they were clearly expensive (not to mention form-fitting). “Hello.” Paul smiled at me, and it was just not fair that he played for the other team. Even if he did make Dafydd really happy. 

“Hello,” I replied, glancing toward one of the seats in the room. “Please, have a seat. I’m afraid I don’t have any blood, but I might have some wine left.” 

He waved my concerns away and took a seat. “There is no need for either, but thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. So, what can I do for you?” Watching him, I was surprised to see him looking slightly uncomfortable. His shoulders were tensed, and he clasped his hands tightly in his lap. In fact, he almost looked as if he was going to tell me that someone I knew—“Are Runner and the kid all right?” I blurted out, before he could answer my question. 

His eyes widened—not much, but a little, and he quickly shook his head and held up his hands in a pacifying gesture. “No, everyone’s fine as far as I know. I came to ask for some advice.” 

Since I’d already put my foot in my mouth once, I just nodded slightly to him as I relaxed, indicating that he should continue. He probably needed help setting up a router or something and just didn’t want to admit it; I can’t imagine that vampires are very good with computers. Dafydd certainly isn’t, and he’s ‘only’ a warlock. 

Paul clasped his hands again, and hesitated before he spoke. Great big alarm bells were going off in my head now; I was definitely reconsidering the idea that he might be thinking about proposing to my best friend. Thankfully, that wasn’t what came out of his mouth. “I would like to ask Dafydd to move in with me,” he said finally. “It does not make sense for him to pay for a separate apartment, but something tells me he may not like the idea. I was wondering if you could give me some ideas to help me convince him.” 

I laughed; I couldn’t help it. People, particularly Dafydd and Paul, usually came to me with big research projects or with requests to wipe evidence of their supernatural exploits away. Never could I have imagined that one day a vampire would come to me in order to ask about something so…mundane.

Paul looked chagrinned. “I’m sorry, if you’re not comfortable talking about this I understand, I just thought that maybe—“

I cut him off with a shake of my head; life’s too short. “No, no,” I replied. “I just expected some sort of supernatural problem, not…domestic issues.” I paused to think a moment. Dafydd was a lot like me—fiercely independent. Dafydd probably _would_ balk if asked to move in with Paul, no matter how much sense it made, economically or otherwise. “Hmm.” I thought about how someone might convince me to move in with them. “I think your best bet is making it seem like it’s his idea in the first place.”

It was Paul’s turn to chuckle. “I was thinking of something along those lines, yes.”

I nodded. “You should probably point out how cramped he is in his little apartment, maybe start by giving him a room in your house to do his magic in so he doesn’t always have to go home for that. He loves Gyre and Gimble; make sure you include them in any moving plans. In fact, you should mention that they’d get a lot more attention if they were at your place and both of you were there all the time.”

The Hot Vampire—whoops, sorry, Paul—nodded along with me. “Those are all good ideas. Especially the ferrets; he loves them so much.” Huh, I never expected him to sound so…fond. I was in favor of it, though. 

I kept thinking and talking aloud. “You might also point out that he’d have more opportunities to grow his business in your neighborhood; I’m sure the apartment he’s in has a no soliciting clause, and your neighborhood probably has more bored housewives. Just give him some time to get used to the idea and all the potential benefits, and I don't think he'll make a fuss about it.”

Paul smiled at me. There was nothing pointy about it; unless you get Paul in the right light, he doesn’t really look that much different from a regular human. “Thank you, Laura. That is exactly what I needed to hear.”

“You’re welcome. How are you two doing, anyway?” Color me curious. And yes, I might be living vicariously through Dafydd a bit. Sue me. 

Paul’s smile widened. “We are doing very well. We compliment each other nicely. I have not felt this way about a human in…a _very_ long time.”

I wanted to ask /how/ long, but Paul always avoided questions about his age, so I didn’t. “Good,” I said, smiling at him. “He deserves someone who really cares about him. Of course,” I added, taking on a mock-serious tone, “you should know that if you hurt him, I will find out how to kill you, hunt you down, and do so. You won’t see me coming until my stake is in your chest.” 

We both laughed; Paul could probably hear me coming from a mile away in my wheelchair, and I’d have to get real creative to actually stake him…if stakes even worked on vampires. Most of what we humans think we know about supernatural entities isn’t accurate. 

Paul gave me a slightly more serious look once he was done laughing. “If I ever do hurt him…I’ll let you take the first swing.” 

"Deal," I said with a smile. 

Once that was out of the way, we chatted a bit longer. I asked him to keep me appraised of Dafydd’s reaction to Paul's comments about moving, and then he left, bidding me good evening. I had to admit--for once in his life, Dafydd had chosen a decent boyfriend.


End file.
